IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that children should begin formal learning at school as young as possible. However, others feel that children should not begin school until they are at least seven years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #school #seven #years
It is a
commonsense
Suggestion
common sense
 that education is of great essence in students’
life-long
continuing through life
lifelong
development
.
However
, parents are confused about whether they should scarify children’s happy childhood by sending them to
school
 at an early
age
 or prepare them academically as soon as possible. Receiving formal education at a young
age
 helps children avoid missing out on their brains’ golden
development
 phase and can cultivate their academical abilities. Research shows that external stimulus can remarkably influence children’s brain
development
, which is irreversible to obtain when they grow older.
For example
, it is easy to observe that the younger the children are, the easier they can learn a foreign language by picking them up naturally and imitation rather than drill or rote memorization.
Moreover
, practices
such
 as counting and building the brick improve pupils’ numerical and spatial
imagination
Suggestion
imagination's
ability
. These early experiences can lay a solid foundation for their official academic study.
Although
 some people advocate for an early
school
enrollment
the act of enrolling
enrolment
, other parents might hold a different view. They believe that
comprehensive
Suggestion
comprehension
ability
 is quite limited for kids under the
age
 seven.
This
 lack of
ability
 might fail students to study efficiently at
school
. Indeed,
this
 can be true due to kids’ immature brain
development
, and it is even hard for them to follow teachers’ instruction sometimes let alone acquiring knowledge.
Nevertheless
, children’s
development
 is sophisticated and subjects
to varies
Suggestion
are varied
 influential factors; even if the current feedback can be time-consuming and inefficient, it might have a profound impact on kids. In conclusion,
although
 the low-level comprehensive
ability
 for young kids might contribute to inefficiency, it is still beneficial for children
to attend
Suggestion
attending
school
 before they reach the
age
 seven.
Submitted by czhudennis on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: