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Band 5.5

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #work
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Although
 paid
work
 is thought by some to be a good experience for children, other people think that it can be detrimental. In my opinion, I consider that paid
work
 can bring about more advantages for children compared to any problems it might bring. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe the benefits gained by children doing
work
 experience are extremely useful for their future.
Firstly
, children can develop an understanding of the value of
money
.
This
 is a crucial lesson to learn as it teaches them not to waste
money
 by realising the amount of
work
 needed to earn it.
Secondly
, children take their
first
 steps in learning how to save and manage
money
. Take many older children,
for instance
, who have a part time job in order to save up for something they would
otherwise
 be unable to afford. Learning
money
 management is an essential skill later in life when they earn salaries and have bills to pay. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when children do paid
work
. One problem is that it might expose them to exploitation through slave labour.
For example
, in some developing countries children are made to
work
 full
time but
Accept comma addition
time, but
 due to their age are not protected by law.
However
,
this
 situation is rare, only happening in certain countries. Another negative aspect is that the time children spend working could prevent them from focusing on their school
work
. Having a good education is the key to a successful
future so
Accept comma addition
future, so
 if
work
 interferes with their academic performance
this
 can be a problem. In conclusion, the critical lessons that children can learn when they
work
 for
money
 will stand them in good stead when they are adults and clearly outweigh any disadvantages.
Submitted by futherxxx on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • financial independence
  • responsibility
  • valuable skills
  • impact
  • education
  • exploitation
  • negative effects
  • social life
What to do next:
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