IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #computer #games #children
Some say that, the games like X-box harm very young people, while others believe that it has an enormous positive effect.
This
 essay will argue that,
although
 allowing minors to have access to computer games leads to bad behaviours, but using them will help improve some essential skills necessary for child development. On the one hand, IT games like "enter the dragon" promote antisocial behaviours. Children are visual learners, and
this
 e
lectronic
Suggestion
electron
contains actions and characters that are violent.
Furthermore
, there is a fine line between fiction and reality.
This
 can easily be crossed when young people under 18 years, introduce these bad attitudes they have learned into their daily life.
For example
, the study shows that 30% of children who bully others spend their free time playing violent video games.
On the other hand
, playing a game like "Super Mario" nurtures a child’s fine motor skills. As it is an activity
that is
 done alone, it employs the talent of multitasking i
n
Suggestion
with
other to stay relevant in the game.
This
 action promotes critical and creative thinking, alertness and, the ability to stay focused throughout the event. More so, these skills are applied day to day activities.
For example
, 20% of people who create comic books and superhero characters had an intense addiction to computer games in their early childhood. I believe
this
 influence is good with a better outcome. In conclusion, even though computer games play a role in the evil characters, young people exhibit but, it's using perfects the skills needed for a brighter future for both the individual and society.
Submitted by drrsali110 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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