IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere.

#people #government #money #arts
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Art
Use synonyms
 is the externalization of the individual skills and reflects the heritage of a
country
Use synonyms
. At present,
art
Use synonyms
 seems to
losing
Suggestion
be losing
lose
have lost
 its value because of less concern by
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
,
however
Linking Words
, I feel that
art
Use synonyms
 still requires to be given more value than other basic necessities of any nation.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are many reasons why
art
Use synonyms
 should be the priority of any
country
Use synonyms
?
First
Linking Words
 of all, It is the best source of generating revenue income for
government
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. Museums,
art
Use synonyms
 galleries and musical concerts are the place, from where a handsome revenue is taken. Mesmerizing sculptures, beautifully engraved paintings by renowned artists adorn the beauty of the museums and attract tourists. Undoubtedly, these tourists are the greatest source of revenue income. These tourists throng in
large number
Suggestion
a large number
large numbers
on
Suggestion
of
 these historical places and monuments that help to promote local handicrafts, resulting in providing income to the small scale industries.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 is the cultural and historical reflection of every
country
Use synonyms
. It is the real asset of every
country
Use synonyms
 that brings uniqueness and pride for every
country
Use synonyms
 and if
fund
Suggestion
the fund
 is not
allocating
Suggestion
allocated
 by the
government
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 it will be difficult to keep
this
Linking Words
 alive.
However
Linking Words
, some opponents of the
art
Use synonyms
says
Suggestion
say
 that spending money by
government
Use synonyms
 on
art
Use synonyms
 hampers the development of the
country
Use synonyms
 in regards to good infrastructure
,
Accept space
,
 road system
,
Accept space
,
 efficient transport system and medical facilities
.
Accept space
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, allocating money to education and medical facilities definitely lessens the literacy rate and increases well being of the nation that help a
country
Use synonyms
 to grow. To conclude,
art
Use synonyms
 is really an integral part of every
country
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
,
Suggestion
the government
government
Use synonyms
 should fund
art
Use synonyms
 museums and promote
artists’ value
Suggestion
the artists’ values
s to keep and maintain the glorify history of
country
Use synonyms
otherwise
Linking Words
 artists and the
art
Use synonyms
 will be lost in oblivion
Submitted by saadjamali21 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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