IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that to be a successful sportsman, one needs to have a natural ability. Others think that hard work and practice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sportsman #ability #work #practice
One of c
ontroversial issues
Suggestion
the controversial issues
among people is, what is the most important factor for being a prosperous sportsman. Some people believe that a natural
ability
 is the most effective key.
On the other hand
, there is a concept that h
ardworking
Suggestion
hard working
and practicing could be b
etter way
Suggestion
a better way
f
or
Suggestion
of
reaching
this
 goal. In my opinion, hardworking is the most important f
actor
Accept comma addition
factor, however
however
, I
also
 believe that our inherent
ability
 could be helpful
also
. Obviously, having a hereditary
ability
 which comes from family and ancestors help us for being s
uccessful
Accept comma addition
successful, for
for e
xample it
Accept comma addition
example, it
can be clearly seen in many cases, people with an athlete member in their family have more chance for being successful in different sport fields compared with one who has not. Because they can see more experiences and using them
besides
 genetics.
For example
 an a
thlete father
Accept comma addition
athlete, father
can move his interests to their children by doing e
xercise
Suggestion
exercises
in front of them. Hardworking and doing exercise are two vital things which improving you to higher levels.
For example
, for a football player is important to learn skills and make strong his muscles by playing football and doing exercise more and more. Many of known football players had no sportsman in their family and they became successful. In conclusion,
Although
 the heritage is an important factor for being a successful s
portsman but
Accept comma addition
sportsman, but
without practice and diligence it is infeasible. So, If you b
e
Suggestion
are
are being
a hardworking p
erson maybe
Accept comma addition
person, maybe
you can be a prosperous athlete but it’s not possible contrariwise. In my view, practicing is more important than natural
ability
. Roya Safa

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: