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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some think that developing a successful career is more important than spending time with family and friends, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.

#think #career #time #friends
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Nowadays work-
life
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 balance is a subject of a controversial issue, affect
li
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fe o
Suggestion
the life
f all people; while some highlight the importance of career progression in a person's
life
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 more than spending time with family, critics condemn
this
Linking Words
 idea and believe that people should spend more time with their loved ones. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss vi
ewpoints o
Suggestion
the viewpoints
f both sides of the debate and express my perspective in the conclusion. On the
one
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 hand, proponents of career success often mention the financial aspect of job achievement. By being a top-rated wo
rkforce i
Suggestion
work force
n any field,
one
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 would have a choice to find a job at be
st companies,
Suggestion
the best companies
which offer high salary and package to their employees.
This
Linking Words
 would enable the person to support his family financially or poor people, by donating to charities.
Besides
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 that, some people need challenges and hard-working in their
life
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, since it is matched with their personality. There ar
e a
Suggestion
is
 lot of people, who would get bored by family gathering or socializing with friend, while get excited by progression in their work, that gives them great satisfaction.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, critics believe that focusing only on career, while neglecting family and friends, is not a healthy practice for
one
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's
life
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, especially in the long-term. Widespread stressed-related diseases or depression, especially in the developed countries, signals that people should have a more balanced lifestyle, by changing their ha
bit a
Suggestion
habits
nd spending ad
equate amount o
Suggestion
an adequate amount
f time with their family.
Moreover
Linking Words
, opponents argue that nothing, ranging from money or success, could replace a pe
rson r
Suggestion
person's
ole in his/her nuclear family.
For instance
Linking Words
, children, whom bring up without enough attention by their parents due to long-ho
urs j
Suggestion
hour
obs, would suffer from a lot of problems in their adulthood. In summary, while the role of professional success in
one
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's
life
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 is undeniable, it is sensible to conclude that people should put aside materialistic consideration and not sacrifice their own and family's well-being, the most important priority in everyone's
life
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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