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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Governments prohibiting the underage children for getting full-time jobs in certain countries. do you agree or disagree.

#governments #children #jobs #countries
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1:34
Underage
Suggestion
Under age
 children are not allowed to get full-
time
Use synonyms
 jobs in some countries. Governments try to protect children by
establish
Suggestion
establishing
 laws to prevent negative impact being made by the long-hours work. I agreed that children should be kept from full-
time
Use synonyms
 jobs which may affect
positive development
Suggestion
the positive development
 of human in their early stage.
First
Linking Words
 of all, children have their right to learn and attend school. Scientific research shows that brain development grows rapidly starting from 3 to 18 and children should spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
 learning academically and socially during that period of
time
Use synonyms
. If they are forced to attend an
occupation
Suggestion
occupational
 and missed their best
time
Use synonyms
 to acquire knowledge, they may not be able to catch up easily when they have grown up.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, teenagers should learn to explore their talents and interests in school so that they can express their full potential in the future. It is not ethical to let children step into the working environment too
early
Accept comma addition
early, hence
hence
Linking Words
 decrease their choices in the future.
In
Suggestion
At
From
 the governors viewpoint, in order for a country to grow economically, we should allow human resources to be used efficiently.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the government should invest
time
Use synonyms
 and money to better equip their children
by
Suggestion
with
 knowledge and skills before they are fully physically and mentally developed.
As a result
Linking Words
,
goverments
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
governments
 should help protect children's right to study and disallow them to take
full-
Suggestion
a full-time job
full-time jobs
time
Use synonyms
 job before they are truly matured. For the sake of both the children and the government, children should be funded to learn and develop their full potential before they join the labour force.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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