In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

#countries #teenagers #jobs #students #idea #support

the

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apply

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some countries,

for example

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

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, Australia, UK, they encourage teenagers to get a

job

while

they are studying and in my opinion

this

is a good idea.

Hence

, in

this

essay

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essay,

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I would like to express the reasons why

this

should be encouraged. There are three main reasons why we would encourage teenagers to take up any

job

while

they are still studying.

Firstly

, once they acquire a

job

, they would get

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first-hand experience

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how to deal with different kinds of individuals from different backgrounds. In every

job

sector, we will have to deal with people of different nationalities.

Hence

, interacting with people before starting their

carrier

Correct your spelling

career

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is very important.

Secondly

, we live in a world where the value of money is undermined by children.

Therefore

, once they start working, it would give them an understanding of how important it is to save and use money wisely.

Furthermore

, they would

also

start being more responsible in their life.

Finally

, as the interest rate for student loans

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

increased

the

Change preposition

in the

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past couple of years and it has become more difficult to pay it off, it is a good initiative to allow students to take up jobs

while

they are still studying to pay

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off

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the loans at the earliest.

In addition

, if they are from a poorer background, their extra income would

also

help to support their family. In conclusion, teenagers should take up any

job

while

they are studying and it should be encouraged and promoted in other countries as well.

Submitted by anusalome93 on Wed Dec 18 2019

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task response

Provide more specific examples for each reason to further support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that the link between ideas and paragraphs is clear and logical, and consider using transition words for smoother connections between sentences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

255 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called "peer pressure". Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages.

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?