Some people think giving time to career improvement is more important, others believe giving time to family and friends is more important. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.

The argument, over whether more
time
should be allocated to
career
Suggestion
a career
careers
or to kith and kin, has not been settled yet. It is often argued by some that spending more
time
for a better future is imperative to have a luxurious
life
. Meanwhile, others still claim that quality
time
with family is important for a breakthrough from a monotonous routine.
This
essay will explore
both
sides of the arguments before reaching a logical opinion. On the one hand, the supporters of the idea that extended
time
for
career
Suggestion
a career
is essential
believe
Suggestion
to believe
that a successful
career
brings prosperity in
life
. When a person earns a hefty amount of money, he would have all facilities in
life
as compared to others. Take an example of a survey report published in the Daily Times revealed that lives of employees, who are doing overtime are more fulfilling as compared to the regular workers.
Thus
, to some
extent staying
Accept comma addition
extent, staying
more determinant for
career
improvement brings betterment in
life
. While
on the other hand
, the advocates of the view that being more in the company of loved ones believe that it is important to refresh
mind
Suggestion
the mind
after a hectic routine. Since following a same routine for a
longer
Suggestion
long
time
can cause exhaustion, so friends and family can give
relieve
the feeling that comes when something burdensome is removed or reduced
relief
from work related issues.
For instance
, a study conducted in Australia concluded that people who stay with family for longer duration are more enthusiastic and motivated at work place.
Hence
, giving more
time
to family bring peace of mind. Whereas, I believe that a balance should be maintained between
both
to get benefit. Spending excessive
time
at work can cause burnout, while staying more with family and friends can cause financial crisis.
Therefore
,
time
should be wisely managed between
both
of them. To sum up, from my perspective,
both
contain equal
importance
Suggestion
important
because family and friends can give emotional comfort and
career
improvement gives a quality lifestyle.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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