IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. Why is this? Is this the best solution to traffic congestion?

#countries #money #bicycle #usage #traffic #congestion
It is true that the
traffic
 jam has become a serious problem in many countries, and with each passing day,
this
 problem is becoming more and more dangerous in almost all the regions of the
world
.
Therefore
, I strongly believed that the use of bicycles
instead
 of heavy vehicles is the best solution to avoid
traffic
 jams. (57) We had seen in the past that people mostly used horses and donkeys for travelling and transportation from one place to another until the invention of wheel in
19th century
Suggestion
the 19th century
.
Thus
, the smooth flow of
traffic
 was not a big problem in many countries in the past. (47) Presently,
traffic jam
Suggestion
the traffic jam
a traffic jam
 is a matter of serious attention for the entire
world
. Nowadays, many countries are trying their best to find the solutions of
traffic
 jams. In many parts of the
world
, governments are promoting bicycle usage.
This
 is because of several reasons like bicycles did not consume any fuel. They are much cheaper than any other vehicle, and they are
also
 an
environment
Suggestion
environmentally
 friendly mean of transportation.
In addition
, bicycles
also
 help people to stay active and healthy. (80) The recent development in science and technology has enabled the countries to design modern road structures in order to ensure the steady flow of
traffic
.
Thus
, if the focus of countries remained on the promotion of bicycle usage,
then
 the
world
 will surely get rid of
traffic
 jams in the near future. (52)
Hence
, the use of
bicycle
Suggestion
bicycles
the bicycle
a bicycle
 is one of the most suitable mean of transportation as it not only allows the
traffic
 to move smoothly by cutting down the space on the roads but
also
 minimize air pollution. (37)
Submitted by faiqa.beenish1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: