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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are your opinions on this?

#people #countries #diet #critics #change
It is undeniable that foodstuffs play a vital role in our lives and have a strong influence on people’s health. There is an opinion, that residents of some western countries eat unhealthy
food
, so their diet is getting worse. Personally, I agree with
this
 statement and feel
this
 way for two reasons that I’m going to explore in the following essay.
Firstly
, one should note here that junk
food
 became popular for the very
first
 time in
American countries
Suggestion
the American countries
. At that moment it was a great invention, so people were able to eat many different kinds of hamburgers, crisps and carbonated drinks. There is no doubt, that it was very convenient and even nowadays it is a major factor why all my friends decide to visit a fast-
food
 restaurant.
However
, eating
this
 type of
food
 regularly leads to illnesses
such
 as obesity. It is a great problem
for
Suggestion
in
 some regions
on
Suggestion
of
 our planet, because people get used
to eat
Suggestion
to eating
 tasty hamburgers
instead
 of cooking at home.
Consequently
, the great majority of the US residents suffer from extra
weight which
Accept comma addition
weight, which
 makes working and living very difficult for them.
Secondly
, I believe that
this
 problem can be solved by changing people’s diets. The great example of healthy
food
 can be found in coastal countries
such
 as Japan and South Korea. In these
places people
Accept comma addition
places, people
 eat fish, which is the ingredient of most their meals, so it allows them to be in good body condition. The other example can be found in southern parts of my country. Dwellers there
have
Suggestion
has
 their own
tradition
Suggestion
traditional
food
 that made of rice, vegetables and some amount of meat. In fact,
this
 kind of
food
 is extremely popular among residents of Russia because it is tasty with nice
flavor
the general atmosphere of a place or situation and the effect that it has on people
flavour
. To draw the conclusion, I think that people who like to east fast-
food
 should change their preferences in order to be healthy, and cook at home using recipes from Asian countries and southern regions of Russia.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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