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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in business is by the amount of money they make. Some say owing a personal business really helps you make money. Do you agree or disagree give your opinion and examples.

#people #judge #someone’s #success #business #amount #money #say
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Making
money
Use synonyms
 is the ultimate motivation of every
business
Use synonyms
. Motivation takes you to another level. In today’s era, the pattern of our society
is the
Accept comma addition
is, the
 more you make
money
Use synonyms
 the more you get
successful that’s
Accept comma addition
successful, that’s
 how people judge you on the basis of
money
Use synonyms
. I am hanging across the roads that
owing
have ownership or possession of
owning
 your own
business
Use synonyms
 and doing a good
job
Use synonyms
 both help you make a good living. Despite of doing a round of a clock
job
Use synonyms
 owing your
business
Use synonyms
 is
the better
Suggestion
the best
 option.
Firstly
Linking Words
, every single setup requires
money
Use synonyms
 to
flourish
Accept comma addition
flourish, although
although
Linking Words
 it cost a lot and people are always in a rush to make it successful. Once it’s established it provides you a good living which is why I believe
business
Use synonyms
 provide all necessary facilities in your life. Establishing a small
business
Use synonyms
 is far easier to set up rather than other
business
Use synonyms
 entities.
This
Linking Words
 type of
business
Use synonyms
 does not require you to follow the rules and regulations you are free to operate as you please and don’t have to
worn
Suggestion
wear
, about getting the approval of the person higher up on the ladder than you.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the sole proprietorship
business
Use synonyms
 requires heaps of capital to commence it. The sole owner enjoys the overwhelming amount of profit solely as well as he has to bear the loss individually. Nowadays our society is dominated by advertising.
Good
Suggestion
The best
 advertisement is really what makes the difference between success and failure of the
business
Use synonyms
 and advertisements are really expensive nowadays so it might be demanding for the sole owner to pay for it.
Secondly
Linking Words
, getting a good
job
Use synonyms
 on the behalf of your degree and skills really helps you make
good living
Suggestion
a good living
.
Linking Words
However doing
Accept comma addition
However, doing
 a
job
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 provides you
great deal
Suggestion
a great deal
 of benefits.
Job
Use synonyms
 let you learn and polish many new skills. The most important point in doing a
job
Use synonyms
 is that you don’t have to worry about
loss
Suggestion
the loss
 you will get paid every month.
Contrarily if
Accept comma addition
Contrarily, if
 you work for someone you have massive liabilities
on
Suggestion
for
to
 you. You have to lie down by the rules and regulations of the company. In conclusion, even though we are judged by the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 we earn but there are still many ways from which we can identify the success.
Owing
Suggestion
Owning
 your own
business
Use synonyms
 and doing a better
job
Use synonyms
 both help you make a good living.
Linking Words
However shapes
Accept comma addition
However, shapes
 of liabilities differ.
Last
Linking Words
 but not the least respect is one of the major
factor
Suggestion
factors
 that measures the
parameter
an instrument that measures atmospheric pressure
barometer
 of success.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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