The charts below show each grade level’s activity and the total revenue gained from it, by percentage, from King Primary School’s recent fundraising event. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #grade #level’s #activity #revenue #percentage #school’s #event #information #features #comparisons

The chart visualizes the total percentage of income collected at the fundraising event in the King Primary school. The

activities

involved from first to sixth

grade

in order are dance

competition

Fix the agreement mistake

competitions

show examples

, cake decorating

contest

Fix the agreement mistake

contests

show examples

, book

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

, art

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

, cookie

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

and soccer skill

contest

Fix the agreement mistake

contests

show examples

Chart

Add an article

The chart

show examples

shows the dance and cake decoration

contest

has raised most of the fundraising event,

where

Correct word choice

whereas

show examples

the art and book

sale

activity for the

third

and

fourth-

Correct your spelling

fourth grade

show examples

grade

raised very low compared to the other

activities

. The cookie

sale

and soccer skill content

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

earned a decent amount of portion in total. The dance competitions

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

made the most significant portion

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

with other of 23.7% in total. It is followed by the cake decoration

contest

for the

second

grade

with 20.9%, which stands in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second

place. The book

sale

has earned the least amount

Change preposition

apply

show examples

just 7.8% in total

bellow

Correct your spelling

below

show examples

the art

sale

for the

third

grade

, of which 13.9%. Among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

all the

activities

from the first to sixth

grade

the

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

activities

has able to make nearly 40% in total,

where

Correct word choice

whereas

show examples

the contests,

on the other hand

, made significantly better. In the

sale

activity, the fifth

grade

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

collected most of 18.3%.

Sun Dec 22 2019

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second, third".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, grade, contest, sale with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

199 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts below show each grade level’s activity and the total revenue gained from it, by percentage, from King Primary School’s recent fundraising event. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that product should be made to last as long as possible while others think that making the product cheap is more important discuss both the views and give your opinion

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of one country, While some people think there are other factors. what other factors should be considers ? Within these factors, do you think anyone is more important than the others ?

The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?