The graphs below show the post-school qualifications held by Australians in the age groups 25 to 34 and 55 to 69.

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The pie chart illustrates the various age groups of Australians who hold a post-school qualification and

also

Linking Words

their main field of study in percentages respectively.

Overall

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, in both the ages social sciences and arts were the highest

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

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while

Linking Words

the minimum percentage of them are qualified in administration, architecture and other. The Australians of age 25-34

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

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Correct article usage

a totally

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totally

Replace the word

total

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357,500

Change preposition

of 357,500

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, out of which 19.48% of them chose Social science and Arts.

However

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people

Use synonyms

who opted for Administration and Science, Maths,

Information

Correct word choice

and Information

show examples

Technology were 19.08% and 18.19%.

Moreover

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, the combined percentage of Education and Engineering is 24.12%,

while

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those having medicine and law degrees are 7.40% and 5.54%.

Finally

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, students who acquired qualifications in Others, Veterinary and Agriculture and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Architecture were 2.24%, 2.10% and 1.85%.

On the other hand

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who hold a degree between the

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

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55-69

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

totally 104,800.

However

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who gained a degree in social sciences, arts and engineering were the highest with 20.42% and 19.27% respectively.

Moreover

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people

Use synonyms

who graduated in administration and education were 14.90% and 13.17%,

while

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the combined percentage of medicine and science, maths graduates

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

21.46%.

Finally

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who are qualified in law, architecture, other and veterinary, agriculture are 3.34%, 2.96%, 2.48% and 2%.

Sun Dec 22 2019

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, however, moreover, while".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

202 words

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The graphs below show the post-school qualifications held by Australians in the age groups 25 to 34 and 55 to 69.

Some people think that wearing a uniform at work is essential whereas others think that it is unnecessary. Present your views on both sides of the argument.

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. what damage does plastic do to environment? what can be done by governments and inviduals to solve this problem?

universities should accept equal number of male and female students in every subject. what extent do you agree or disagree

Some students agree that internet-based lectures is better type lectures. The other students tend to believe that university-based lectures is still needed. Explain your opinion for both sides of the view.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your oponion.