Many crimes are often related to the consumption of alcohol. Some people think that the best way to reduce the crime rate is to ban alcohol. Do you think this is an effective measure against crime? What other solutions can you suggest?

#crimes #consumption #alcohol #people #crime #rate #ban #measure

Most of the time the criminals are drunk while committing the

crime

and some people believe that the main

solution

for preventing the

crime

commitment is

alcohol

prohibition. I completely disagree with

this

view, because of a major reason which I will discuss in the following paragraph, and

then

debate what the effective solutions are.

owever

Accept comma addition

However, alcohol

alcohol

consuming would affect on committing the

crime

, forbidden the

alcohol

is not the best

solution

Suggestion

decrease the rate of the

crime

. Because in that case people drunk in their privacy and as the result of that disobedience take place.

Moreover

alcohol

is imported by t

rafficker;

Suggestion

traffickers

the trafficker

so, another

crime

happened.

For instance

, In Iran, the rule of

alcohol

prohibition exists, but the hidden bar made up and the covert drunk people spread out in the whole country, but, still the

crime

committed by drunken criminals and the increasing rate of

alcohol

trafficker become another problem which police and governments are struggling with. So ban the

alcohol

might not solve the increasing rate of the

crime

problem. The

solution

of reduction of

alcohol

consumption in order to reduce the

crime

commitment needs parents and g

overnments

Suggestion

government's

government

attention.

First

of all, parents should control their children to not drink

alcohol

before 18;

besides

, they should not consume

alcohol

obviously and openly in front of their children's eyes. The Government should improve the educational goals and teach the younger generation how

alcohol

would be h

armful especially

Accept comma addition

harmful, especially

for their health and the safety of the society. In conclusion, some people consider that, ban the

alcohol

absolutely reduce the

crime

commitment because most of the crimes committed by drunken criminals. We debate the views and

solution

above.

Mon Dec 23 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crime rate
consumption of alcohol
effective measure
ban alcohol
contribute to
types of crimes
other solutions
reduce the crime rate
education
awareness programs
stricter law enforcement
penalties
support
rehabilitation
alcohol addicts
root causes of crime

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Many crimes are often related to the consumption of alcohol. Some people think that the best way to reduce the crime rate is to ban alcohol. Do you think this is an effective measure against crime? What other solutions can you suggest?

Fully explain your ideas

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In spite of the advantages made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?