Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that
music
, art and drama are imperative like other academic subjects and should be taught at the primary level. I am in favour of
this
idea because it will help children to release their stress and it provides overall
development
of the child. Introducing extra-curricular subjects like
music
, art and drama is essential as other subjects because it will help children to be stress-free.
That is
to say, children are often engrossed and burdened by studies, and taking time-off from academics will help them to express and enjoy themselves.
This
will relax their mind and they will rejuvenate themselves to study even better and secure high grades.
For instance
, the Government of India has made it mandatory for all the primary level children to participate in
music
or theatre class as they found the benefits of less stressed children performing better in studies. Another reason why children should be made to study these subjects is that it will help children to grow academically and non-academically.
In other words
, children will feel confident about themselves when they are not only academically strong but
also
have sound knowledge about any dance form or an instrument.
Thus
, they will be happy about themselves which will make them grow as a socially accepted person. To illustrate, many parents opt for International Baccalaureate schools because their curriculum focuses on the overall
development
of
child
Suggestion
the child
children
a child
in sports, academics and extra-curricular activities
such
that children receive 360
degree
Suggestion
degrees
of
development
. In conclusion, introducing subjects in the field of
music
, drama and theatre is as vital as other course subjects at the junior level as it will be conducive for children to be less stressful and it aids the complete
development
of the child.
Submitted by sg186023 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: