IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

#year #crime #rate #increases #rise #activity
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Every year, there is an incline in
crime
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 statistics. One of the major
cause
Suggestion
causes
 is due to bad practices by
Use synonyms
police department
Suggestion
police departments
the police department
 in
prosecution process
Suggestion
the prosecution process
.
However
Linking Words
, in
order
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 to prevent
this
Linking Words
 problem, law and enforcement agencies need to alter current policies and align with
latest trends
Suggestion
the latest trends
 of
crime
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. Primarily, It has been observed that loopholes in current investigation procedure
is
Suggestion
are
 the burning reason behind it. To explain, even though
criminal
Suggestion
crime
 is caught red-handed, still
police
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 department is unable to provide strong evidences in
order
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 to prove him guilty in court.
As a result
Linking Words
, criminals maximum utilizes these flaws of system and once released, they opt the same pathway of crimes again.
For example
Linking Words
, In Pakistan, Every
year 35
Accept comma addition
year, 35
% of criminals are out of prison due to lack of effective probing from
police
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 authorities. Seemingly, current
police
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 reforms are ailing in
nature so
Accept comma addition
nature, so
, state authorities need to expand the scope of criminal
polices
a plan of action adopted by an individual or social group
policies
 and align them with current trends of crimes. To elaborate, crimes these days are very much diversify and in
order
Use synonyms
 to subsides
crime
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 ratio,
firstly
Linking Words
, authorities need to ascertain the cause and opt legislation in accordance.
Secondly
Linking Words
, stringent polices need to adopt to avoid them in future. Dubai,
for instance
Linking Words
, had credit card scam very common in 2017-18, after implications of modern and effective measures,
crime
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 rate declined significantly. In conclusion,
crime
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 rate these days are soaring high.
Primary cause
Suggestion
The primary cause
A primary cause
 of
this
Linking Words
 problem is due to dogged approach of poor interrogation procedure by
police
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authorities but
Accept comma addition
authorities, but
 in
order
Use synonyms
 to overcome, security departments need to change current practices towards criminal justice and opt updated methods for investigation of latest crimes.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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