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Writing Samples
Band 7

In most successful organisations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers are important, other people said that other factors are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Nowadays some people argue that in order to become a successful organisation a manager should interact with their employees regularly,
while
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 other folks say that there are other main factors which play a vital role in order to succeed the organisation.I,
however
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, with the latter view. In
this
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 essay, I intend to delve into both views and present my opinion. On the one hand,
according to
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 those people who say that it is necessary for managers to interact with their
workers
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 to succeed in the
company
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 ,they believe that if the leader gives direct guidance,
workers
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 know what they do in a perfect way ,and they do not get confused.
In addition
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 to that they say that positive feedback and reinforcement by a leader play a significant role in the success of the
company
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. To illustrate if the leader always rewards and encourages the employee they will feel relaxed and comfortable.
Consequently
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,
this
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 will lead to being a successful
company
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 and not distracted.
On the other hand
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, some individuals think that other factors play a crucial role in developing the organisation. First and foremost, they think that artificial intelligence is considered as core of the
company
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 because it helps
workers
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 in many fields. In fact
according to
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 the surveys around 70% of companies use AI to assist people
while
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 they working. A prime example of
that is
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 the UAE
company
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 Etisalat which uses a robot to help
workers
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while
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 they request customer demands.
As a result
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,
this
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 will decrease the work of employees and they will feel less stress and depression. In conclusion, some individuals believe that the connection between the boss and the
workers
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 is more important to the success of the
company
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,
however
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, I firmly believe that other factors
such
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 as innovation and using AI lead to the development of the
company
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.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use clear transition words and phrases to link ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and diverse specific examples to thoroughly support your arguments in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, clearly presenting the topic and summarizing the main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirements effectively.
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