IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go to sporting or cultural events. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #money #tickets #events #development
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In
this
Linking Words
 cut throat era, people are moving towards innovation. They are investing time and
money
Use synonyms
 on favourite reality shows. Few folks are purchasing costly tickets for events like cricket or live concerts, they feel spending more
money
Use synonyms
 will be
the more joyful
Suggestion
the most joyful
 and others disagree with more
pay outs
payment of money
payouts
. Spending more currency on sports or cultural events will cause on financial growth. Tickets of big events
is
Suggestion
are
 a mean to entertain, if a middle class person is buying a ticket of big amount, their liability will increase because a common man has various responsibilities on his shoulder..
For
Linking Words
example many
Accept comma addition
example, many
 teenagers would like
spend
Suggestion
to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on reality shows to become a cool in front of others, so they force to their parents to purchase ticket or else youngster will end up with stealing. Meanwhile, parents are buying a ticket by applying loan that
also
Linking Words
 effect on
financial growth
Suggestion
the financial growth
 of a family man. If parents are not supporting,
then
Linking Words
 the teenagers will follow
wrong path
Suggestion
the wrong path
 and it will spoil their future and relationship with family. Spending
money
Use synonyms
 on events is always releasing a stress. People can enjoy
excited atmosphere
Suggestion
the exciting atmosphere
exciting atmosphere
 of the event without thinking about wasting
money
Use synonyms
 on tickets.
Some what
Suggestion
Somewhat
 extent events help to relax, think
for
Suggestion
of
 new ideas and perform better work, study. A person can get a chance to spend
good amount
Suggestion
a good amount
 of time with his family. People will get an opportunity to meet their favourite celebrities. To be
concluding
Suggestion
concluded
, spending funds on tickets to have fun in big events is just benefit for
short period
Suggestion
a short period
short periods
 of time.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
 behaviour and relationships are
crucial
Suggestion
more crucial
 than spending
money
Use synonyms
 on tickets to just participate. It is better practice to think before spending huge amount.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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