Some people think it is a good thing for senior managers to have much higher salaries than the other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that senior managers play a vital role in the company’s management so as to achieve targets.
While
some believe that
such
high-level holders should be paid handsome salaries as compared to junior workers, I,
however
, agree with
this
thought for two reasons. One concern in terms of higher salaries is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience
. Senior executives play an integral role in
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
show examples
firm’s future. Only workers who have
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
work
experience
are to be paid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decent salaries as they know management’s input and output very well.
For example
, a survey shows that 85% of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
who worked in the same organization
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
succeeded in
gaining
Verb problem
achieving
show examples
the company’s goal
due to
acknowledging the firm’s tic-tack.
Therefore
, usually, they are mostly high paid employees than others. Responsibility is another area. The senior executive position demands a great number of responsibilities to deal with.
For instance
, a branch manager has to look for the entire operation of the branch,
whereas
, a
junior level
Add a hyphen
junior-level
show examples
employee only needs to take care of their respective job.
Similarly
, a customer care executive
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
responsible for answering the
query
Fix the agreement mistake
queries
show examples
of customers,
while
marketing managers have to answer why a product fails in the market to the board of management. In conclusion, not only do senior managers deserve higher remuneration than juniors because of valuable work
experience
, but
also
they have dealt with enough job responsibilities
for achieving
Change preposition
to achieve
show examples
the objective of companies.
Therefore
, I strongly believe that they should pay much than a fresh
experience
Replace the word
experienced
show examples
employee.
Submitted by jdsmss on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Use a wider range of vocabulary and improve sentence structure for better coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks clear and comprehensive ideas supported with relevant specific examples.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: