IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people spend too much money on marriges . What you think about it?

#people #money #marriges
Nowadays
,
Accept space
,
 spending too much
money
 becomes a
tend
turn sharply; change direction abruptly
trend
 among people as they want to celebrate their events extraordinary
.
Accept space
.
 There have some positive as well as negatives of
this
 trend
.
Accept space
.
 On the one hand, there are numbers of events as birthday parties, anniversaries and weddings on which people spend
huge amount
Suggestion
huge amounts
a huge amount
 of
money
 to make them memorable
.
Accept space
.
Moreover
, by spending extravagantly on these kinds of occasions people get a chance to meet their dear and love one's and
also
 individuals have
opportunity
Suggestion
the opportunity
 to celebrate their happiness which gives them
sense
Suggestion
a sense
the sense
 of satisfaction along with
this
 they can
also
 show their wealth and status among others.
On the other hand
,
this
 development has some
negatives
Suggestion
negative
 consequence for people as people waste lot of
money
 when they organise these kind of function on
high level
Suggestion
a high level
.
In addition
 to
this
,
Accept space
,
 some middle class people
also
 influenced and take loans to make their events extraordinary and sometime they trap into debt.
by
Suggestion
By
 doing
this
 people waste
huge amount
Suggestion
huge amounts
a huge amount
 of food
also
. In conclusion, everyone has right to express their happiness in whatever manner they want to express but I
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believed
believes
 that people have to spend
money
 according to their budgets to maintain their finances appropriately.
Submitted by manpreetcheema014 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: