IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Doe this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #doe #situation
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I am totally convinced by the statement that many people
work
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 for long hours, leaving very little
time
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 for other activities.
This
Linking Words
 situation will always have an upper hand over advantages. The role of
time
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 management plays a vital role in one's
life
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.
Firstly
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, if there is very little
time
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 for leisure activities that means you are not living your properly.
Work
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 is
also
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 equally
important that
Accept comma addition
important, that
 gives
money which
Accept comma addition
money, which
 is required to settle down in
life
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. But, working should be to a particular extent.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, If your mind is full of
work
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, you will get short tempered.
Moreover
Linking Words
, at one point of
time
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, one will be exhausted and things won't go
in
Suggestion
on
 the right track.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, leisure activities
keeps
Suggestion
keep
 your mind free of everything. A person will definitely enjoy doing some fun activities and with a fresh mind,
work
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 will be done more perfectly.
Work
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life
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 balance makes a person's
life
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 easier, giving equal importance and
time
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 to
work
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 and extra curricular activities. On the whole, there should be a thin boundary between working and doing over
time
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. Spending quality
time
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in
Suggestion
with
 different fun activities holds outweighs working for long hours.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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