IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Doe this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #doe #situation
I am totally convinced by the statement that many people
work
 for long hours, leaving very little
time
 for other activities.
This
 situation will always have an upper hand over advantages. The role of
time
 management plays a vital role in one's
life
.
Firstly
, if there is very little
time
 for leisure activities that means you are not living your properly.
Work
 is
also
 equally
important that
Accept comma addition
important, that
 gives
money which
Accept comma addition
money, which
 is required to settle down in
life
. But, working should be to a particular extent.
Furthermore
, If your mind is full of
work
, you will get short tempered.
Moreover
, at one point of
time
, one will be exhausted and things won't go
in
Suggestion
on
 the right track.
On the other hand
, leisure activities
keeps
Suggestion
keep
 your mind free of everything. A person will definitely enjoy doing some fun activities and with a fresh mind,
work
 will be done more perfectly.
Work
life
 balance makes a person's
life
 easier, giving equal importance and
time
 to
work
 and extra curricular activities. On the whole, there should be a thin boundary between working and doing over
time
. Spending quality
time
in
Suggestion
with
 different fun activities holds outweighs working for long hours.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: