Schools are spending so much time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #time #subjects #history #people #skills #students #job

One stands nowhere without education. Some institutes spent so much time teaching historical

subjects where as

Accept comma addition

subjects, whereas

subjects whereas

some

believes

Suggestion

believe

that spending more time on learning practical skills rather than traditional subjects, can help students

to get

Suggestion

get

a job. I strongly agree with

this

statement and my justification will discussed in

ensuing paragraphs

Suggestion

the ensuing paragraphs

. Nowadays students are more attracted towards practical knowledge

instead

of studying theoretical subjects. One of the strongest

reason

Suggestion

reasons

behind

this

is practical skills can learn more easily and

fastly

with rapid movements

quickly

as it can be performed individually and it has direct contact with vision and

brain

Suggestion

the brain

. So these things can learn completely. Whereas,

on the other hand

bookish materials don’t contain any visuals, so

student

Suggestion

the student

feel

Suggestion

feels

bored and they try to

mugup

Suggestion

mug up

thing which can only raise their academics and not helps in practical life which is very important in jobs. The another cogent reason is many

jobs

Suggestion

job

job's

demands expertise in practical skills

for

example mechanical

Accept comma addition

example, mechanical

doctorial

of or relating to a doctor or doctorate

doctoral

, IT jobs and many more. So

this

might be a reason why students get diverted towards practical skills. According to research, in foreign

countries many

Accept comma addition

countries, many

schools had stopped teaching theory like history to ignite their minds towards practical skills as they

dony

do not

don't

have to cram theories.

In conclusion every

Suggestion

In conclusion, every

subject has its uniqueness and

importance but

Accept comma addition

importance, but

due to demanding jobs people are forcefully diverted towards practical fields more for their personal benefits, which is a bitter truth of

this

world.

Submitted by imishadave712 on Fri Dec 27 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

236 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Schools are spending so much time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There is a problem in the road outside your house. Write a letter to your local councilor. In your letter introduce yourself explain what the problem is tell the councilor what you would like to be done

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed their education and found jobs. Do the advatages outweigh the disadvantages ?

People in many countries spend more and more time far away from their families. Why does this happen and what effects will it have on them and their families?