Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #music #culture #ages

It has believed that some sorts of entertainment activities like singing can be a good way to establish

bonding

Suggestion

bonds

between multicultural and

multiaged

people.

This

essay agrees with the statement and reach a

resaonable

showing reason or sound judgment

reasonable

conclusion.

To begin

with, most of the mankind has

human tendency

Suggestion

a human tendency

to participate and engage in

enjoyment

Suggestion

enjoyable

programme. Listening and singing song and dancing can be

Suggestion

area where people from

different tradition

Suggestion

different traditions

a different tradition

and age group engaged.

Moreover

, lots of custom and ideas between each other can be exchanged via music.

For instance

, people usually admire to listen pop

songs regardless

Accept comma addition

songs, regardless

its cultural origin.

Secondly

lyrics

Suggestion

the lyrics

of a music

helps

Suggestion

help

to understand the theme of diverse culture and feeling of youngsters, children, older aged people.

In addition

this

, if people engage in

such

activities they will get opportunities to explore and learn about new custom. To illustrate,

myriad

Suggestion

a myriad

researcher

Suggestion

researchers

studying about

different ethnological group

Suggestion

the different ethnological group

and cultural diversity,

firstly

expore

Suggestion

explores

explore

express

their musical background to get indepth

knowldege

the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning

knowledge

However

, merely music cannot contribute in development of intimacy between every

people

Suggestion

person

First

of all, they have to show concern to develop it. In conclusion, notwithstanding the above paragraph I would like to stick

Suggestion

my view that participation and engagement in different musical activities help to keep different religious and all ages people together.

Submitted by bt6683736 on Sun Dec 29 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

217 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
harmony
integration
bridging gaps
foster
ignite
embrace
communicate
celebrate
appreciate
inclusivity
universal language
emotional resonance
shared experiences
intercultural dialogue
intergenerational connections
cultural exchange
catalyst

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Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries are investing in new technology to deal with public. Why is this happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of government money?

The plans show the layout of a public library now and how it will look after development.

Children are facing more problem nowadays from academy, social and commercial perspective. What are the causes of these pressures and what am I should be taken to reduce this pressure?

In most countries people prefer to rent rather than buying them? Write advantage and disadvantages of renting home?

School curriculum has become more flexible in many countr ies. Some people argue that students should be given a right to choose what they study in school. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.