1.Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #lawbreakers #prison #talents #work

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Sending the lawbreakers into confinement is an obligation for some

people

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others argue that it is better to employ the capable

people

Use synonyms

among them. In

this

Linking Words

essay, both very topical debates

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be investigated

as well as

Linking Words

a deep reason. The proponents of

this

Linking Words

perspective are extremely encouraging to send the offenders to jail.

Firstly

Linking Words

, having them to be punished in prison would be

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

punishment, even though some of them have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

great potential. In fact, if

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

law enforcement gives them a chance to explore their capabilities, they

also

Linking Words

could have a creative way to do a criminal.

Moreover

Linking Words

, arresting them would be a good time for them to heal

minds

Correct pronoun usage

their minds

show examples

for

introspecting

Wrong verb form

introspect

show examples

from their mistakes.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, if they are given a chance to explore their talents, they could not have the opportunity to realize

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their fault. Ultimately, there is no need

compensation

Change preposition

for compensation

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

sanction for the lawbreakers.

This

Linking Words

would be a great deal for the state to decrease the number of criminals.

However

Linking Words

, the opponents are disappointed to transfer them to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison. First and foremost, the offender should take responsibility which is related to

kind

Correct article usage

the kind

show examples

of mistake they made. As usual, the well-known retribution to do for them is about sending

into

Correct pronoun usage

them into

show examples

lockup, yet there are other beneficial ways of punishing the trespasser. Those talented

people

Use synonyms

could be contributing more

for

Change preposition

show examples

several aspects

Change preposition

show examples

the nation

instead

Linking Words

of staying calm in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jail.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the

policy maker

Correct your spelling

policymaker

show examples

could punish them

through

Change preposition

show examples

employing them without

wage

Fix the agreement mistake

wages

show examples

in certain

period

Fix the agreement mistake

periods

show examples

and

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

Then

Linking Words

, the government would have great advantages for those

people

Use synonyms

. By way of conclusion, the advocates said that the right punishment for lawbreakers is by transferring them to the penitentiary, but some

people

Use synonyms

agree

to say

Verb problem

apply

show examples

that it would be effective discipline to employ

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

talented offenders

for keeping

Change preposition

to keep

show examples

contributing to the nation. As I would state

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the wrong

people

Use synonyms

should be allocated in jail, though they have great talents, there is no dispensation for

doing

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

punishment.

Sun Dec 29 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing both views, but the arguments lack depth and development. The ideas presented need to be more comprehensive and clearly articulated with specific examples.

Coherence & Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat flawed due to insufficient coherence and cohesion. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks a clear organization of ideas and linking devices.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Modern technology is used in many workplaces today. How do you think technology changed the ways people work? Do you think there any disadvantages of relying on technology at work?
In our days in numerous workplaces is emplyed modern techmology. Technology has fundamentally transformed the way we work, shaping not only the tasks we perform but also the environments in which we operate. While technology offers many advantages in the workplace, there are several disadvantages, like reduced human interaction.
<4
band
Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development
Nowadays.celebrities are earnning more money than politicians in this essay I am discussing both views positive and negative.and I give my opinion
6
band
Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.
Uniforms are one of the rules that companies start to apply to their staff. Employees have found this helpful in saving some money from their salaries, instead of spending a large amount of money buying clothes for every day, it is more conveniant to wear the same clothes. Furthermore, having the same clothes for all staff boosts the sense of equality and fear among them that all staff are treated equally in terms of clothes. In other words, not all employees have the same living cost, as some employees can wear trendy clothes, while while others will feel downgrade wearing their cheap clothes. For example, some of my friends work in a big company that has a uniform code, and they find it very helpful to wear it, they can save money for other uses instead of spending in buying clothes for everyday work.
5.5
band
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Some people think we should charge for the museum, while others strictly believe that it should be free. In my opinion, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, this essay will provide examples, to solidify the viewpoint.
4.5
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Over the past few years, there has been an upward trend in the percentages of the rent home. Some people believe that owning a home is better than renting one, while some other people claim that it is difficult to buy a home and prefer to get a rented home. This essay will further elaborate my views for favoring the impacts and thus, will lead to a logical conclusion.

1.Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Modern technology is used in many workplaces today. How do you think technology changed the ways people work? Do you think there any disadvantages of relying on technology at work?

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?