1.Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #lawbreakers #prison #talents #work

Sending the lawbreakers into confinement is an obligation for some

people

while

others argue that it is better to employ the capable

people

among them. In

this

essay, both very topical debates

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

be investigated

as well as

a deep reason. The proponents of

this

perspective are extremely encouraging to send the offenders to jail.

Firstly

, having them to be punished in prison would be

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

punishment, even though some of them have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

great potential. In fact, if

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

law enforcement gives them a chance to explore their capabilities, they

also

could have a creative way to do a criminal.

Moreover

, arresting them would be a good time for them to heal

minds

Correct pronoun usage

their minds

show examples

for

introspecting

Wrong verb form

introspect

show examples

from their mistakes.

On the contrary

, if they are given a chance to explore their talents, they could not have the opportunity to realize

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their fault. Ultimately, there is no need

compensation

Change preposition

for compensation

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

sanction for the lawbreakers.

This

would be a great deal for the state to decrease the number of criminals.

However

, the opponents are disappointed to transfer them to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prison. First and foremost, the offender should take responsibility which is related to

kind

Correct article usage

the kind

show examples

of mistake they made. As usual, the well-known retribution to do for them is about sending

into

Correct pronoun usage

them into

show examples

lockup, yet there are other beneficial ways of punishing the trespasser. Those talented

people

could be contributing more

for

Change preposition

show examples

several aspects

Change preposition

show examples

the nation

instead

of staying calm in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jail.

Furthermore

, the

policy maker

Correct your spelling

policymaker

show examples

could punish them

through

Change preposition

show examples

employing them without

wage

Fix the agreement mistake

wages

show examples

in certain

period

Fix the agreement mistake

periods

show examples

and

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

Then

, the government would have great advantages for those

people

. By way of conclusion, the advocates said that the right punishment for lawbreakers is by transferring them to the penitentiary, but some

people

agree

to say

Verb problem

apply

show examples

that it would be effective discipline to employ

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

talented offenders

for keeping

Change preposition

to keep

show examples

contributing to the nation. As I would state

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the wrong

people

should be allocated in jail, though they have great talents, there is no dispensation for

doing

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

punishment.

Sun Dec 29 2019

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Task Achievement

The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing both views, but the arguments lack depth and development. The ideas presented need to be more comprehensive and clearly articulated with specific examples.

Coherence & Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is somewhat flawed due to insufficient coherence and cohesion. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks a clear organization of ideas and linking devices.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

336 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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1.Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to prison. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Do you think consumers should avoid over packed products or is it the responsibility of the producers to avoid extra packaging of goods?

People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than on other factors. To what extent you agree or disagree?

In the fight against crime, police forces and government are increasingly using security cameras in public places. Some people are opposed to this, saying that it invades our privacy. What do you think?

A lot of people spend a major part of their adult life at work, so job satisfaction is very important for individual happiness. What are the main factors that contribute to job satisfaction? What are the possible solutions for people who are unsatisfied with their jobs?