IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Write about the following topic: In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #britain #someone #home #people #nurses #government #care
In developed countries, there are
homes
 known as
old -age
Correct your spelling
old-age
show examples
homes
. When
people
 get old in these countries and are retired from their jobs, they start to live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old-age
homes
. There are many other old
people
 in the old-age
home
 so, all of them enjoy each other company and can spend the
last
 days of their
life
 without any
wordly
Correct your spelling
worldly
 tension. Old
people
 living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old-age
homes
 do require basic
necessaties
Correct your spelling
necessities
 of
life
 like food, water, clothes, medicines etc. Some old
people
 whose children live near to the old-age
home
 can come to meet their
relatives
 and give them food, clothes etc but, there are some old
people
 in the old-age
homes
 whose
relatives
 come only on some
occassion
Correct your spelling
occasion
occasions
 or once a year. For those
people
,
old-age
Correct article usage
an old-age
show examples
home
 has to arrange the basic
necessaties
Correct your spelling
necessities
 of
life
. Continuing my discussion, if a
person
 in the old-age
home
 gets ill,
staff
Correct article usage
the staff
show examples
 of
old-age
Correct article usage
the old-age
show examples
home
 can contact the
relatives
 of that
person
 and ask them to take the
person
 to
doctor
Add an article
the doctor
a doctor
show examples
. But what if the
relatives
 do not come,
old-age
Correct article usage
An old-age
show examples
home
 can not let the
person
 die. To overcome
this
 situation, old-age
homes
 have nurses in them who look after the
people
 in old-age
homes
. From where do these nurses get their salary? How do they get the medicines?
This
vary
Change the verb form
varies
show examples
 from old-age
home
 to old-age
home
. Some old-age
homes
 charge the
relatives
 of the
person
. From
this
amount
Add a comma
amount,
show examples
 they pay the nurses and arrange the medicines. Some old-age
homes
 get
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
show examples
 from
Governement
Correct your spelling
government
 for
Correct article usage
the
show examples
health care of
old-
Correct your spelling
old people
show examples
people
.
Question
Correct article usage
The question
show examples
 is, whether
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should pay for
this
 or
relatives
 should pay for
this
. In my opinion,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Government should pay for
this
. It is the responsibility of the
governemnt
Correct your spelling
government
 to provide basic
necessaties
Correct your spelling
necessities
 of
life
 to their
people
, good health is one of the most basic
necessatiy
Correct your spelling
necessity
necessities
 of
life
.
Further
 to
this
,
governemnt
Correct your spelling
government
takes tax from
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 of their country so, they should spend that amount on the betterment of their
people
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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