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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit
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A shared opinion is that people should not have to retire, on a common
age
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, for all different fields of activity,
instead
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, some of them should have the right to benefit from an earlier paid retirement. I strongly agree with
this
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 point of view as the
age
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 of retirement should vary depending on the nature of the filled
job
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.
Moreover
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, labour workers must be entitled to having
such
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 privilege. As long as there is a multitude of
job
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 domains, the
age
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 of quitting the service has to be as v
ariable.
Suggestion
varied
 Because each
job
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 nature needs a certain body strength and abilities to fulfil it, but those d
ecline,
Suggestion
declines
 with
age
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, on different paces depending on the v
ariation
Suggestion
variety
of accomplished activities. Having a desk position,
for instance
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, does not require the same physical effort as working on the production line in a factory.
Therefore
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, the two positions should have different
age
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 limits. The employees of more physically-demanding activities should have the choice to retire at a younger
age
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 than their fellow administrative staff. As the
first
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 kind of
job
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 necessitates a greater effort to achieve.
Consequently
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, affecting the workers' health in the long term.
Thus
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, the need for a sooner work-leave. A recent study claimed that laborious work for an extended period is the reason for numerous health problems and later-on body dysfunctions. To sum up, I completely agree with providing the choice of retiring at a younger
age
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, especially for more physically hard working individuals. Because not all jobs are equally demanding.
Therefore
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, retiring
age
Use synonyms
 should be more flexible.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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