The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, it has been increasingly observed that young people are getting involved in serious crimes
such
Linking Words
as mass shooting and cyber crimes. Some people are of the opinion that by educating parents with proper parenting skills, it can be controlled completely.
Although
Linking Words
, parenting plays a key role in controlling a young individual's behaviour, I believe that there are other critical issues as well that need to be taken care of. Undoubtedly, parents possessing sound parenting skills can play a key role in reducing the crime rate in
modern era
Suggestion
the modern era
. It is an obvious fact that children mostly do
actions
Suggestion
the actions
that they see their parents do at home.
This
Linking Words
could be utilized in a very effective way if parents are equipped with good parenting skills.
In addition
Linking Words
, mental health is a key
influencer
a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc
influence
to make any human become a criminal. According to a survey, around 70% of the criminals are those who have faced mental health issues during their childhood. Apart from better parenting, there are some other measures that need to be considered in
this
Linking Words
context. Access to
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
has been playing a major role in changing the mental state of young individuals. Nowadays, many online games and movies are available on
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
that make people violent and aggressive
.
Accept space
.
By controlling the media content available on
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
, young people would not be attracted towards extreme actions
.
Accept space
.
Also
Linking Words
, I believe that lack of hobbies and extra-curricular activities in educational institutes are
also
Linking Words
one of the reasons for high crime rate among young individuals. . Sports and extra-curricular activities would keep young people engaged in some healthy work. In conclusion, while parenting can be a crucial contributor in reducing
crime rate
Suggestion
crime rates
the crime rate
, I believe that there are other factors that demand
attention including
Accept comma addition
attention, including
access to
internet
Use synonyms
content and trend of sports and extra-curricular activities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: