IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species,while others believe that it is waste of money. What is your opinion?

#people #money #species #waste
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it
Suggestion
It
 is
human's responsibility
Suggestion
the human's responsibility
 to protect flora and fauna. Some
peole
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
 believe that crowd
shoul
expresses an emotional, practical, or other reason for doing something
should
shall
 spend extensively for
protect
Suggestion
protecting
 those animals which are in danger
,
Accept space
,
while others think that it is wasteful thing.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss as to why more
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on it. On the one hand
,
Accept space
,
 those who believed that it is squander of
money
Use synonyms
 for
numerious
amounting to a large indefinite number
numerous
 reasons.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
government
Use synonyms
 should spend huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on industrial sectors who will give job
opportunity to
Accept comma addition
opportunity, to
 youngsters
,
Accept space
,
rather than on endangered animals.
because
Suggestion
Because
 it is necessary for
government
Use synonyms
 bodies to focus on industrial development rather than spending
money
Use synonyms
 on those species which are in threat.
it
Suggestion
It
 could be consumed plenty of capital.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 China
recentaly
in the recent past
recently
 spent one
third
Linking Words
 of its GDP on protecting them due to that
,
Accept space
,
at present there is the time of recession.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
it is crucial to
nation
Use synonyms
 for several reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
as they are
salient factor
Suggestion
salient factors
a salient factor
 in
country's development
Suggestion
the country's development
,
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
 has to spend
money
Use synonyms
 to protect them.
because
Suggestion
Because
 it is
best way
Suggestion
the best way
 to bring back
touristers
someone who travels for pleasure
tourists
 from worldwide to watch them
at
Suggestion
in
 cages where they are kept. If more visitors come, they will enhance the income sources for
government
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
due to that
youngsters
Suggestion
youngster
 will get essential information on how much these animals are important for
nation
Use synonyms
 as these are
pride
Suggestion
the pride
 of
nation
Use synonyms
. To conclude, despite the waste of
money
Use synonyms
of
Suggestion
on
by
 protecting animals which are
at
Suggestion
on
edge
Suggestion
the edge
 of extinction
.
Accept space
.
 I
beleived
accept as true; take to be true
believed
believes
 that it is prominent for
Use synonyms
nation
Suggestion
a nation
 to
progess
gradual improvement or growth or development
progress
 economically, industrially and globally.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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