Students fron disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to get a university education. Some people believe that universities should help them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #fron #families #areas #university #education #people #universities

Education is equally needed in the community to have a cultured environment. Some people think that universities should offer education only to wealthy families,

however

I strongly believe that educational institution should provide platforms for disadvantaged students.

Firstly

, every individual in the society has equal rights to educate even though they are from under developed family. It is the responsibility of the government to provide education to poor children. Every country and state have enough fund to raise their citi

zens but unf

Accept comma addition

citizens, but

ortunately riches are always richer and poor's are

alw

Suggestion

ays poorer.

For instance

, renewed scrutiny in India shows that the poverty rate is increasing drastically.

Secondly

, each citi

zens hav

Suggestion

citizen

the

Suggestion

has

ir own talents and intelligence. To elaborate, Dr. APJ Abjul Kalam, former president of India is originally from a rural community. He struggled to come forward in life by selling news

paper to

Suggestion

the newspaper

complete his graduation. Not only he was the pres

ident but

Accept comma addition

president, but

also

a well known scientist. In short, if opportunities are avai

lable

Accept comma addition

available, then

then

we can mould hundreds of talents.

Finally

, gove

rnment sho

Suggestion

the government

uld initiate by providing education for all students especially poor families. To explain, stat

e can

Suggestion

the state

come forward by opening some organisation. In conclusion, I strongly believe that disadvantaged students should come up in life in order to build a strong educated nation.

Submitted by karthika.yedukumar on Tue Dec 31 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

213 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Students fron disadvantaged families and rural areas are finding it difficult to get a university education. Some people believe that universities should help them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?