IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more diadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #diadvantages
To enjoy spare time is very significant in people's lives. A great deal of individuals hardly spends time for their interval deeds because of lengthy work schedules. I believe that it has considerable drawbacks in individuals' life despite having some conveniences. There are a number of reasons as to why some citizens choose to stay much time in workplaces than with family.
Firstly
, if they work at length, they will be adroit workers because they will have the ability to comprehend the entire functions of the duties.
Furthermore
, they can satisfy their bosses.
As a result
, their income rate will grow dramatically.
For instance
, the Japanese went their apartments one day in a month. Because, their prime intention was to delight their authorities which would be conducive to increase their salary.
On the other hand
,
although
 it demonstrates few opportunities, it has a wide range of difficulties. The principal challenge can be that employers who get stuck in offices, factories, most hours will not acquaint with the remaining world. Afterwards, their external knowledge will not expand. The
next
 point is that, they will be abortive to refresh their humdrum mind when they will work for long days.
For example
, a couple of months ago, in India, a report published, a host of youngs committed suicide because of exorbitant regret and grief. Police investigation indicated that they spent more days in workplaces than family. So, they merely consumed hours of their personal lives. To conclude,

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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