IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

Nowadays intelligent
people
Use synonyms
 are respected around the world.
Although
Linking Words
 a few public
considered
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
 that
success
Use synonyms
 is the best measure, others deny and believe that there are a few other ways to
measured
Wrong verb form
measure
show examples
talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
show examples
. In my opinion, I personally think that
success
Use synonyms
 is the significance policy for intelligence because
success
Use synonyms
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confidence
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
push
Correct subject-verb agreement
pushes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a new happier
life
Use synonyms
as well
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 got
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confidence
Use synonyms
 from being successful.
In other words
Linking Words
,
success
Use synonyms
 always appropriate the human for doing well every time and
people
Use synonyms
 always try their best in every work of
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 my brother got
GPA
Correct article usage
a GPA
show examples
 FIVE in
Secondary
Correct article usage
the Secondary
show examples
 Certificate Examination, he again started to
putting
Wrong verb form
put in
show examples
 his hundred percent effort,
as a result
Linking Words
, he
earn
Wrong verb form
earned
show examples
GPA
Correct article usage
a GPA
show examples
 FIVE again in the Higher Secondary Examination.
Besides
Linking Words
,
success
Use synonyms
 always
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confidence
Use synonyms
 to
people
Use synonyms
 for doing well all
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
success
Use synonyms
 made happier
life
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
.
Correct word choice
happier.
show examples
In other words
Linking Words
, society always
respect
Change the verb form
respects
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
successful
people
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
as well as
Linking Words
 in the field of work,
for instance
Linking Words
, successful
people
Use synonyms
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 the best job opportunities
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world because of
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
success
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
. As a result, they can build their future happier.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a happier future is important for the family of successful
people
Use synonyms
 as well. In conclusion, succeeding in
life
Use synonyms
 is beneficial in various ways.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 I think that being successful is the best way for intelligence. Because it always
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confidence
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
manufactured
Wrong verb form
manufactures
show examples
 happier upcoming days
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • measure
  • intelligence
  • success
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • adaptability
  • emotional intelligence
  • creativity
  • practical skills
  • standardized testing
  • academic performance
  • capabilities
  • potential
  • privilege
  • correlate
  • hard work
What to do next:
Look at other essays: