IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries an average employee is legally obliged to retire at the age of 55 or 60, while in others, like Japan, people can work until they are physically and mentally fit to perform duties. what is the system prevailing in your country? until what age should people be allowed to countinue in salaried jobs. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#countries #employee #age #japan #people #work #duties #system #country #countinue #jobs
Of late, many countries believe that an employee should be retired between the age of 55 or 60 years. A sea change has been witnessed the notion like Japan masses can work until according to their own opinion. There has been prevailing issue in the world that employees should be allowed to work. The following paragraphs would shed light on the possible reasons for the problem and some approaches before making the final notes. To commence with the reasons,
first
 and foremost is the old ones to retire from the profession in Voluntary way or involuntary way.
Secondly
, the old age employees should be forced to retire due to physical limitations. If, old masses perform task There will be Chance of potential for loss of productivity. Probing
furthermore
, these old age employees have Need to Continue training while doing duties with new fresh workers. Undoubtedly, every lock has a key.
Similarly
 There are some benefits to the Company and young ones.
Moreover
, when the old employees above years of 55 or 60 working with new fresh candidates, they can work with them and contribute their best to Company.
Hence
, The old people having experience and knowledge about the particular job task. So, they
also
 become mentors for new Recruit employees and serve as a good worker.
Therefore
, Its depends on individual choice whether he Like to leave the job after 60 Year span or not. To recapitulate, I would like to state that we should not be forced to retire the old person from his job. It should be their individual choice and their good choice of becoming a good Mentor for young guns is benefit for industry in Long term.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: