Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?

Nowadays, entertainment is very
necessary
Accept comma addition
necessary, such
such
as sports and films. People spend time
at
Suggestion
on
it as much as they can and
also
these
entertainment
Suggestion
entertainments
is very popular, we can see them at everywhere, people watch it all
days
Suggestion
day
. Without a huge of supporter, these
man
Suggestion
men
can
also
have a huge of
money
. Investors, countries,
also
the government paid for them. Everyone would like to see films and sports, sounds it is our
rountine
an unvarying or habitual method or procedure
routine
now.Not only the
money
they have paid, their fans
also
give them a lot of gifts and
money
.
However
, it
seem
Suggestion
seems
to me, it is not exactly fair with other people who spend their time
to work
Suggestion
working
for a country
such
as
scientist
Suggestion
scientific
and workers. If the country is developing, these people are the one of step to help
growing
Suggestion
grow
faster. No one thanks them with their
effort even
Accept comma addition
effort, even
some people do not know them. In my opinion, celebrities may have a mid-income, not too much. The government must be grateful by giving hard-working people much
money
, that will encourage them to do
works
Suggestion
work
more effective
Suggestion
more effectively
. So I
am strongly disagree
Suggestion
strongly disagree
am strongly disagreeing
have strongly disagreed
with celebrities are paid too much
money
,
that is
not fair. I think everything must be in the balance, you work hard you will gain the trophy.
Submitted by tkmjt2 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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