Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #technology #aspects #lives #home #leisure #work #activities

As a result

of i

ndustry revolution

Suggestion

the industrial revolution

industrial revolution

and increasing technology, the machines and robots became real and those have been dominating many p

art

Suggestion

parts

of our life.

This

change has several benefits but

also

, there are some serious disadvantages. The

first

of disadvantage is that mankind's jobs are losing by robots. Most of companies and factories use more machines than hire people; those can work w

hole day

Suggestion

the whole day

and more cheaper than p

erson.

Suggestion

people

a person

In my view, after 50 y

ears most

Accept comma addition

years, most

of career will be destroyed by them

Second

, due to increasing the rate of losing jobs,

also

average earning money per each person will decrease. Everyone's lives will be harder than h

igh-tech century.

Suggestion

a high-tech century

Lastly

, the rate of birth is going to decrease; people do not need to earn money and go outside. So, after 5 decades, maybe the number of mankind will be half than now.

On the other hand

, the

first

benefit is that companies/factories can reduce their money because using them is more cheaper, so they will concentrate to make a m

ore high

Suggestion

higher

highest

quality and low price things from f

actory.

Suggestion

the factory

Secondly

, in agriculture, the farmers can use them; they can cultivate a lot of crops than before,

as a result

of it, the cost of crops will decrease. T

han,

Suggestion

Then

we can buy crops more cheap p

rise.

the property of having material worth (often indicated by the amount of money something would bring if sold)

price

Lastly

, our activities during leisure time will improve

such

as games, movies, dramas... . We can enjoy our break time more r

elaxable

even babies, elder citizens and f

amales.

a social unit living together

families

The i

ndustry

Suggestion

industrial

industrious

revolution is making our life better,

owever there

Accept comma addition

however, there

are

also

dangers. Please be careful to use them and d

evelope

make something new, such as a product or a mental or artistic creation

develop

the level of life.

Sat Jan 04 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Obesity is an ever-growing pandemic that is affecting more and more of the world’s population. The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth of overweight people in society? How can this issue be resolved?

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the media have to right to publish detail of people’s view, while other thinks it should be controlled. Discuss both views.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst the younger generation. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?