Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effect will this have on society?

Criminals will be held in a prison to make them a better
person but
Accept comma addition
person, but
unfortunately keeping them in a
Jail
makes them more dreadful and convicting more crimes once after they were released from the
Jail
. In the essay, I am going to discuss about the causes of
this
and the effects will have on society. The real cause behind their behaviour change after they are released from the
jail
is because they are far from their family or friends over the period of time and most of the
jail
's will not provide them minimum facilities like Water or clean Restrooms or any medical assistance required.
This
kind of attitude towards them
indirectly encouraging
Suggestion
indirectly encourages
is indirectly encouraging
to perform additional crimes.
For example
, one of my
friends
Suggestion
friend's
father had done a theft in his nearby home and once the case was proved, he was kept in a
jail
for about 6 months. After his return, due to bad treatment towards him in the
jail
, he was more violent and started doing more crimes than he was doing before. Many people who had been kept in the
jail
try for a new
job
later his return if he or she loses the existing one. Every company or any business organisation checks his past history and only offers a
job
if they had never been to a
jail
.
This
makes them quite tough and these requirements will make a huge impact on that in individual as well as for the society. Money which comes from them to the government in terms of tax money is lost and
this
may slow down the whole countries or
states
Suggestion
states'
state's
progress.
For instance
, A survey from economic times stated that more than 85% of the
past prisoners
Accept comma addition
past, prisoners
from the year 2011 cannot find a new
job
in India and
this
incurred a loss of around 10 million dollars for the government in terms of taxes and from other sources. In conclusion, the criminals who had kept in the
jail
should be provided with minimum facilities including in the areas of food and health to keep them in a good shape.
Also
government
Suggestion
the government
should impose a strict law to not to check a
persons
Suggestion
person's
criminal background before offering a
job
and try to disable the access which provides the crime information about the candidate.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: