IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Mothers play key roles in the upbringing of children. But in the recent times both parents are getting busy with professional life. Who is your opinion should take the responsibility of child care now? Give your opinion.

#mothers #roles #upbringing #children #times #parents #life #responsibility #child #care
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Kids are the future leader of every country. We have to give concentration not only in the
baby
’s education, but
also
 in their caring. Nowadays both father and
mother
 are busy for earning money rather than taking
care
 of their babies. I believe that every
mother
 should take the responsibility of taking
care
 of the kids at the very early age no matter how busy she might be. In my following paragraph I will explain my point of views with some relevant examples prior to give a reasoned conclusion. At the very outset of my paragraph I would like to mention that, no one else in the world can take
care
 one
baby
 better than a
mother
. One
mother
 is the primary teacher of a kid. To cite an example,
parent
Suggestion
parents
a parent
the parent
 can only understand the demand of a small
baby
 at the initial phase, rather the day
care
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
 or a servant. Girls are born to be a
mother
. It can be said that, God gives some supernatural power to every girl to take
care
 of their
baby
. Another most crucial reason would be that, it may be risky to depend on other regarding
baby
 caring issue. In the present world, we can see thousands of institutes are demanding that, they can take responsibilities of babies
instead
 of the parents. In short, they are doing fake promise. According to Daily Star news published on March 23, 2017 that, 11 children were
died
Suggestion
dying
 during milk feeding time because at a popular day
care
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
. Later on they found that there was melamine on the milk power. Some people may argue that every girl has the right to work and earn cash. It is true that both girls and boys have the opportunity to work, but it is
also
 a true fact that, your
baby
 will be your future shelter Every
mom
 has to spend time for their kids till grown up. The argument is neither logical nor scientific because cash will not exist, whereas your kid will stand beside you in the future. To sum up, it can be said that, in the materialistic world we are running behind the money, the parents are managing both personal and professional lives, but a
mother
 should leave their job while her
baby
 is in upbringing phase.
Submitted by b.anam261 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: