You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

#room #college #hostel #move #permission #type

Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Anna Kim and I am one of the students

lived

Correct pronoun usage

who lived

show examples

in Hudson College hostel building

number

five,

room

Add an article

the room

show examples

number

is 202. I am writing

this

letter to inform you about a

number

of issues which makes living conditions are inappropriate in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

room

number

202. To start with

bathroom

Correct article usage

the bathroom

show examples

there is a problem with isolation materials

that is

why the air temperature in the bathroom is pretty low which,

consequently

, makes it impossible to stay longer than ten minutes.

Moreover

Change the pronoun

show examples

and my roommate often get cold because of washing in a cold

room

Secondly

, as the

room

is situated

to the staff office at night we often hear people talking to each other and I must admit that

although

it happens not

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

sometimes it disturbs me a lot.

Finally

, we had our window broken

last

September and since

then

nobody replaced the glass, despite the fact that I had applied for it several times. As it is getting colder we will not be able to live in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

room

with

broken

Correct article usage

a broken

show examples

window

Fix the agreement mistake

windows

show examples

. I would be very appreciative if you could offer us another

room

to live

Change preposition

in.

show examples

I understand that there is a lack of free rooms at

this

time of the year

that is

why I do not have special requirements

Change preposition

for

show examples

a new

room

besides

those mentioned above. I am looking for a positive reply. Yours faithfully, Anna Kim

Submitted by m77470941089 on Sun Jan 05 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

240 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Discuss the impact of social media on creating opportunities and changing the nature of interactions among young people.

Some people think that advertising may have positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because advertising makes individuals less satisfied with what they are and have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Employers should give holidays of at least one month to employees to encourage them to perform better at workplace. To what extent do you agree or disagree?