IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some say that the standard of behaviour among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#say #behaviour #children #parents #fault #schools
The responsibility to mould the
behaviour
 of children by parents or educators is debatable. Some people blame parents for the deterioration in the standard of
behaviour
 among children,
however
, others say it is the fault of the schools.
This
 essay will discuss on both the aspects and explain, why parents are to be blamed for the decline in a
child
's nature. On one side, children nowadays behave selfishly.
This
 character is developed during the early ages, when parents do not monitor their needs.
In addition
, they are pampered by parents who simply buy all the stuffs demanded by them.
For instance
, I always enjoyed sharing my toys with my brother, whereas today, children just do not like to share.
Moreover
, today, both father and mother are breadwinners in the family, they do not have time to observe the mistakes of a
child
.
Therefore
, parents are largely held responsible for the decrease in the quality of
behaviour
 in children. On the other side, educators can mould children to some extent only.
For instance
, a
child
 who is used to telling lies cannot be changed completely by the teachers.
Moreover
, the upbringing of a
child
 at home contributes largely to the innate nature of a
child
. Indeed, schools basically concentrate on updating knowledge in science, mathematics and languages,
however
, very few hours are dedicated in subjects like moral science. In conclusion, the dramatic decline in the
behaviour
 of today's children is due to the wrong parenting style and schools have very little to contribute in upgrading a
child
's
behaviour
.
Submitted by dr.seemav on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: