IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of the news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #media #touch #news #outweigh
Social media plays pivotal role in today's competitive world in spreading new sand keep in touch with loved ones. While there are lots of benefits
from
Suggestion
of
this
trends
Suggestion
trend
,
Accept space
,
 there
are
Suggestion
is
considerable amount
Suggestion
a considerable amount
 of drawbacks which is addressed
accordingly
. On one hand
,
Accept space
,
 it is axiomatic to state that, there are rising numbers of positive effects which derived from social media.
Firstly
, it plays a main role in contacting with our relations, friends and business people. In personal perspective, social media allows teenager to make friends online who share similar interest and
also
 with
help
Suggestion
the help
 of
skype
Suggestion
Skype
 a student can contact with her teacher to take
lesson
Suggestion
a lesson
the lesson
with out
in absence of
without
 meeting in
study room
Suggestion
the study room
 physically.
Further
 elaborating my view
,
Accept space
,
 communication was much more difficult when it was limited to written letters and telegrams
,
Accept space
,
 but today
this
 has become
simple
Suggestion
simpler
 and quicker due to the development of social media
such
 as
skype
Suggestion
Skype
,
Accept space
,
viber
a slender and greatly elongated substance capable of being spun into yarn
fibre
viper
 and other facilities. In
business point
Suggestion
a business point
 of view, business people have ability to collaborate online meetings rather than meeting in one place for a one hour meeting and
this
 will be much more productive as well
this
 will save time and money as well.
Secondly
, social media
such
 as
facebook
Suggestion
Facebook
 has become the top medium of spreading news among people all over the world within few minutes. Thereby the advantages of social media can
been
Suggestion
be
 seen clearly.
On the other hand
, we should not forget the negative effects of social media.
This
 will be directly heading to isolate real relationships since people give priority to virtual
relationships not
Accept comma addition
relationships, not
 only
that but
Accept comma addition
that, but
also
 social media keep spreading
wrong news
Suggestion
the wrong news
as a result
this
 will lead to
social and personal problem
Suggestion
social and personal problems
the social and personal problem
 among people.
On
Suggestion
In
 conclusion, it is clear that social media has both positive and negative effects while I believe advantages overweight the disadvantages
.
Accept space
.
 But still it is important to use these services more wisely
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by thakorrajendra2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant communication
  • Geographical separation
  • Vital sources
  • Global events
  • Networking opportunities
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Digital interactions
  • Misinformation
  • Misiformed public opinions
  • Endanger
  • Excessive use
  • Addiction
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: