IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

given table illustrates the proportions of attendance in secondary schools in india. These values are given from 2000 to 2015 with a gap of 5 year

given table illustrates the proportions of attendance in secondary schools in india. These values are given from 2000 to 2015 with a gap of 5 year
#proportions #attendance #schools #india #values #gap #year
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table illustrates the proportions of attendance in secondary
schools
 in
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
. These values are given from 2000 to 2015 with a gap of 5 years.
Overall
, what stands out from the table is that the
percentages
 of
convent run
Add a hyphen
convent-run
show examples
schools
 were immensely high in all given years.
On the other hand
, the
percentages
 of government
schools
 in
village
Correct article usage
the village
show examples
 were significantly lower when compared to other
schools
.
To begin
 with,the attendance of government
schools
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 was 62% in the year 2000 and these values increased substantially over the years and
ending
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 at 78% in 2015. Even though the proportions of
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
schools
 in villages were lower, they
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 rose from 24% in 2000 to 44% in the year 2015.
In contrast
, the
percentages
 of general
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
medium
schools
 decreased from 52% to 49% in 2005 before rising to 54% in 2010 and 59% in 2015.
Finally
, the
convent run
Add a hyphen
convent-run
show examples
schools
 were the highest attendance
percentages
 among all others which is 80.5% in 2000 and 89% in 2015.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words schools, percentages with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportions" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: