IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: • explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months • say how your work could be done while you are away • ask for his/her help in arranging it,

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İn the workplace
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 accurate approach should be helpful. The
indisputably
Change the adverb
indisputable
show examples
 truth is
people
Use synonyms
 around you behave you like how they are being treated by you.
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would say every attitude base on you and up to you. Unfortunately, at the present
time
Add a comma
,time
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 we have more pretentious. stingy, unsocial humans around us.
Hence
Linking Words
, recently the importance of
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 attitude is much more essential than it was. The main reason for that
psycology
Correct your spelling
psychology
 is. Raising in a good mood is so vital and effective for your future character. When The
people
Use synonyms
 who
were not behaved
Change to the active voice
did not behave
have not behaved
show examples
 well,
attented
Correct your spelling
attended
 the new atmosphere or the new environment even if they were welcomed well, they usually never get used to it. Somehow they might be grown badly.
Then
Linking Words
 they might perform weird behaviours
such
Linking Words
 as not helping
people
Use synonyms
, ruining the atmosphere at work or disturb
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 colleagues.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the other reason
for
Change preposition
apply
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nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 have
deficiency
Add an article
a deficiency
show examples
 of interaction skills is technology. Many of adolescence is definitely either computer addict or mobile phone.
Thus
Linking Words
, it makes them unsocial so that when they have a job they cannot have work
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
 even confabulation. I would like to give an example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 situation. I was dependent on
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 and television when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 was
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 primary and secondary school. As far as ı remember my
first
Linking Words
 job,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 could not even talk with my colleagues because ı was not eligible for communication. Somehow ,
fortunately
Add a comma
,fortunately
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 I get rid of my troubles.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion, I would like to give
advise
Replace the word
advice
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 about that. İn my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 there should be a
preperation
Correct your spelling
preparation
 year for
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 and it might be called ‘’ awaken your social aspect’’ so that
people
Use synonyms
 will feel comfortable when they start working.

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional development
  • global operations
  • cross-functional
  • remote work
  • progress updates
  • logistical arrangements
  • cultural exchange
  • continuity plan
  • enhance my skillset
  • broaden my horizons
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