IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you disagree?

#access #internet #media #websites #children #situations #adults #limit
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With the advancement in technology,
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 and social media websites have become an integral part of
children
Use synonyms
 and
thus
Linking Words
 sometimes, they are exposed to terrible situations. Adults should monitor the usage of these sites and
thus
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 put a limit on
it
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them
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. I completely agree with it and will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 same in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are many people who in lieu of becoming popular upload their videos of performing some
threating
Correct your spelling
threatening
 stunts. Many
children
Use synonyms
 get influenced and
thus
Linking Words
 try to imitate the same, which in turn can have terrible consequences.
For
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example
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example,
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 they sometimes try to post their selfie by standing over a bridge, which can have fatal
ramification
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ramifications
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.
Thus
Linking Words
 adults should follow a prudent approach here by guiding them and
inform
Wrong verb form
informing
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 them about its serious outcomes.
Moreover
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, there are some terrorist organisations
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 use
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media platforms to manipulate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
Use synonyms
 by spreading violent content and
instigate
Wrong verb form
instigating
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 them to join their
campaign
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campaigns
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. Many
children
Use synonyms
, being not aware of their real intentions started following their footsteps.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they join these forums and become a part of their activities, which sabotage their professional
as well as
Linking Words
 personal lives. Adults should closely monitor their activities and provide them
a
Add the preposition
with a
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comfortable environment for communication.
To conclude
Linking Words
, to deal with the gloomy influence of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 and social media, it is imperative to make the
children
Use synonyms
 generally aware
about
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of
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 the critical aftermaths of its continuous usage and the grownups should take the initiative to restrain
children
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
from
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 its excessive usage to prevent the
occurring
Replace the word
occurrence
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 of
mishap
Fix the agreement mistake
mishaps
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.
Submitted by namu1307 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dangerous situations
  • limit access to the internet
  • inappropriate content
  • online predators
  • physical and mental health
  • monitoring and guiding
  • online safety
  • school curriculum
What to do next:
Look at other essays: