IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people these days borrow money from financial institutions like banks to start a business or buy a house. Others believe that this is bad practice and people should only spend money that they have. Which do you believe and why? Use explanations and examples from your own experience.

Monetary organizations lend billions of dollars to people each year around the globe. People borrow thousands of dollars from banks to start a venture or purchase a
home
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 and agree to repay the amount with an added interest according to a set schedule. These large loans have a significant impact on borrowers’ budgets.
Although
Linking Words
 some individuals believe it is better to just use
mo
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ney which a
Suggestion
the money, which
the money which
 person has saved to buy a property or start a
company
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, I would argue that taking out a loan is better, as it both a faster way to ownership and to profits. Borrowing
money
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 from banks is most often the only way for many individuals to buy a
home
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 or start a business in their early adult years. Many properties and ventures require around 250K USD to procure and the majority of people in their 20s and 30s simply do not have these savings, so they rely on the help of banks to provide access to
this
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money
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 quickly.
Otherwise
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, they may be stuck saving
money
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 for the
next
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 20 years before they have enough to make
such
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 purchases. In my case, I borrowed 200K USD from the Royal Bank of Canada to start and ed
ucation technology
Suggestion
the education technology company
company
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 in my 20s, which I could not have done with my me
ager 1
deficient in amount or quality or extent
meagre
major
0K dollars in savings, at least not, unless I would have saved for the
next
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 two decades.
This
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 is one of two reasons that taking out a loan is a better idea than using saved
money
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 for these massive purchases.
Furthermore
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, when individuals take out loans and use them wisely to invest in a
home
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 or venture, they stand to make
money
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 in the long-run. In order to start a serious
company
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 or to buy a
home
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 more
money
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 is needed than what young adults have in-pocket.
Therefore
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, banks provide loans to capable borrowers so that they may engage in
such
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 investments and with hard work, as well as an increase in value, borrowers stand to make a profit above and beyond the amount they need to pay back to the bank in loans and interest. In relation to my previous example, I was able to not only start my
company
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 with the 200K USD seed capital I borrowed from the ba
nk but i
Accept comma addition
bank, but
n less than two years, I was able to repay the principal and turn a profit of 50K.
This
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 is a prime case to support the notion that it is better to borrow from financial institutions than wait to have the
money
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 in savings. In conclusion, there are people who opt to use only
money
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 which they have earned to buy a
home
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 or business, but there are distinct advantages for those who opt to borrow the
money
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 beforehand, primarily and early start and quick pr
ofit.
Suggestion
profiting
Therefore
Linking Words
, I am in the opinion that it is wise to borrow
money
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, especially when the
money
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 is used well to make more
money
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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