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Band 5.5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the work or in the free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Undeniably, exercise is playing increasingly important roles in our health and lives. It is true that most people do not tend to work out and they are at risk of various cardiovascular or other diseases. In
this
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 essay I will put forth the reasons behind
such
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 reluctance and possible solutions for
this
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 problem.
To begin
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 with, by the
adverse
Suggestion
adversities
 of
internet most people
Suggestion
the internet most people
 immersed
on
Suggestion
in
 the virtual world. Numerous social media, online games or even online shopping
discourage
Suggestion
discourages
 working people to spend their free time on exercising. In fact the addiction to the internet and the power of amusing media have pivotal roles in
this
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 problem.
Furthermore
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, using public transportation and cars act as deterrents to walking or riding a bike which may count as exercise. Without any doubt, the
convenient
Suggestion
convenience
 of cars and the speed of buses and trains have led to physical inactivity. Hopefully, creating awareness about the risk of sedentary
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
 would be the
first
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 step to solve
this
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 problem. Governments should launch campaigns in order to encourage people to work out.
In addition
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, employers should set up gym courts or supply exercising facilities at
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
workplaces
 or subsidize for employee’s gym membership and employees should be allowed to access them during work hours. As many studies have shown, even a few stretches have fundamentally beneficial impacts on health. In conclusion, technology and the internet are the main reasons of people avoiding exercise. Individuals should involve some simple activities during day. Governments and companies can easily encourage them to do so.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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