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Band 4.5

Some people refuse working women. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #women
These days, many women are working in many fields. While some people think that women working is unacceptable, I believe that it is useful in many ways.
To begin
 with, many people usually refuse women work
becuase
for the reason that; on account of
because
 they are worried about their
children
Suggestion
child
child's
 care. Since 2000, or before that, men in our society have asked who want to take care of our children if our wives should be worked outside.
Also
, some developing
socities
an extended social group having a distinctive cultural and economic organization
societies
 have a religious
belifes
Suggestion
belief
beliefs
 against the women working.
For example
, 34 percent of women in Saudi Arabia do not have a job because of these prevailing ideas.
However
, I strongly agree that there are a different benefits for women working.
First
, they will have a good experience to deal with a wide range of difficulties that face their children. Many studies claim that the educated women have the ability to open many conversations with their children and understand what they want
.
Accept space
.
Next
, in these days
,
Accept space
,
 any family needs an enough money more than the past;
accordingly
, many women are working to cover the tuition fees for schools and universities for their children.
Finally
,
womem
an adult female person (as opposed to a man)
women
woman
 working could be a good method to improve the work
environmemt
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
 among their special characters
such
 as rationality. To sum up,
although
 many people against the women working, I argue that it is quite important for having a working women in our society.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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