IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?

#people #government #changes #society #individuals #influence
The Bar chart illustrates the comparison of how frequent children of age 5 to 12 have
traveled
traveled over or through; sometimes used as a combining term
travelled
 to and from
school
 using various
mean
Suggestion
means
 of
transportation
 in two years
that is
 1990 and 2010. Overall
,
Accept space
,
the trend seems to be decreasing in 2012 except for the
car
 which only increase with respect to 1990. The most widely preferred mode of
transportation
 in 1990 was walking while,
car
Suggestion
the car
a car
 was the most used mode of
transportation
 in 2010. Going and coming to
school
 by mean of cycling
,
Accept space
,
 bus and walking and bus were almost the same in 1990
that is
 6, 5.8 and 7
million
 trips respectively.
whereas
Suggestion
Whereas
, in 2010 it decreases to 2, 3 and 5
million
 trips respectively. Walking was the most preferable mode of
transportation
 in 1990 about 12.4
million
 trips were made by walking.
On the other hand
,
Accept space
,
 Going to
school
 by means of
car
Suggestion
the car
 was not that common as only 4.2
million
 trips were made in 1990. In 2010
,
Accept space
,
 things changed as going to
school
 by
car
 was chosen as the
first
 priority and about 11
million
 trips were made using
car
Suggestion
the car
a car
.
whereas
Suggestion
Whereas
, walking which was highly preferred in 1990 significantly dropped to 6
millions
Suggestion
million
 trips in 2010.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • society
  • government
  • changes
  • influence
  • policies
  • laws
  • intervention
  • societal issues
  • collective action
  • progress
  • development
  • harmonious
What to do next:
Look at other essays: