Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #women #army #navy #air #force #men

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The

world

Use synonyms

has seen many wars, from the

world

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war one and to the Russian missile crisis. Both men and females have equally suffered from the horrors of these wars. Some believe that women should not have any restrictions to be employed by the tri-forces. I completely agree with

this

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argument, as I believe both genders should contribute to the betterment of the future and

also

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, women have an essential natural ability. Everyone must be given a chance to sustain

world

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peace. It would be a waste of resources if women were left out from any defence positions, as they can

also

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contribute to an organisation and be equivalent to men.

For example

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, we have seen many female pilots on commercial airlines when we travel.

Therefore

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, a female air force pilot

also

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carries attributes that men have and live up to a task just as well as a male fighter pilot.

On the other hand

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, critics who argue that only men should be given ranks within the defence industry say that, men have more physical strength and more masculine attributes in the front lines. While, I agree with

this

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argument I

also

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think that feminine attributes are

also

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required within the industry.

For instance

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, currently throughout the

world

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, more and more of female healthcare professionals

such

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as doctors or nurses are being employed each year. Even though, there is no scientific reason or a logical explanation to

this

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, many believe that females have a born natural healing power that men do not carry.

Hence

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, it is imperative that women are given the opportunity to heal injured soldiers. In conclusion, it would be wasteful if one gender is left out

therefore

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, both men and women must be given the equal opportunities in the defence forces.

In addition

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, females are born with healing powers that men do not carry.

Sat Jan 11 2020

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender equality
combat roles
physical prowess
stamina
dynamics
cohesion
resilience
integration
gender disparities
morale
recruitment
retention
biological differences
stereotypes
feminism
glass ceiling
break barriers
pioneer
groundbreaking

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