The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world.School should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information, technology To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is considered by some people that the role of education is to prepare children for the present day world.
Therefore
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,
music
Use synonyms
and
art
Use synonyms
should be
elimanted
terminate, end, or take out
eliminated
from curriculum in order to enable children to focus on some useful subjects
such
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as
;
Accept space
;
information, technology
Body paragraph 1
I absolutely disagree with
this
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opinion.I
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
that
music
Use synonyms
and
art
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play a crucial role in life.Since they and impacts on people's intelligence and
also
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give chances people to become successful and earn much money in these fields.
Body paragraph 2
To commence with,
music
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and
art
Use synonyms
are really essential factors. A survey conducted by the university of California
has showed
Suggestion
has shown
that
music
Use synonyms
and
art
Use synonyms
really encourage people to control their emotions
,
Accept space
,
fellings
emotional or moral sensitivity (especially in relation to personal principles or dignity)
feelings
fillings
filings
,
Accept space
,
as well as intelligence.
In addition
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to
this
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, Those are more favoured by many people in
comprasion
the act of examining resemblances
comparison
with other things so as to impact positively on their moods and make them happy.
Body paragraph 3
In other words
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, both of them are able to influence on children's emotion or intelligence as well
Body paragraph 4
The
second
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factor is related to having
valuable lifestyle
Suggestion
a valuable lifestyle
.
In other words
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, as long as people who are born with some talents
,
Accept space
,
may earn much money and have very
vunerable
susceptible to attack
vulnerable
lifestyles as well
,
Accept space
,
they are able to utilize their abilities.
Body paragraph 5
Because
,
Accept space
,
talented people or children in many developed countries are favoured and enabled to become famous as well as earn much money.
Linking Words
Thus children
Accept comma addition
Thus, children
may have a great career not only because of studying several useful subjects but
also
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because of
music
Use synonyms
and
art
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skills
Conclusion
By thoughts above
,
Accept space
,
taking all discussed factors into
consideration I
Accept comma addition
consideration, I
would have to acknowledge that
music
Use synonyms
as well as
art
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ought not to be omitted from school curriculum.
Children
Suggestion
The children
also
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had better be persuaded to love
music
Use synonyms
and painting.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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