Eating too much sugar is harmful for our health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is an individual responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is true that excess of everything is bad even it is sweet like
sugar
. In my opinion, it is the responsibility of both government and individual to put a strict check and balance in the
amount
of
sugar
they eat in order to spend a healthy life. (48) We had seen in the past that people always had a moderate usage of
sugar
. They eat
sugar
on
daily basis
Suggestion
a daily basis
in various food items, but never take
over dose
dose too heavily
overdose
.
That is
why they lived a simple but healthy life. (40) Presently, the
amount
of
sugar
we eat
everyday
Suggestion
every day
is surprisingly increased to
dangerous level
Suggestion
dangerous levels
a dangerous level
.
This
is because of several reasons.
For example
, children always like to eat sweet items of bakery that consist a high
amount
of
sugar
.
Similarly
, adults
also
take tea and drinks despite the fact that they contain high
amount
of
sugar
. The governments are putting
lot
Suggestion
a lot
of efforts to overcome
this
issue.
However
, it is
also
the moral duty of every individual to lower the consumption of
sugar
in order to protect him from certain health issues. (91) The recent development has forced the governments to spread public awareness and pass proper legislation against the overuse of
sugar
.
Thus individuals
Accept comma addition
Thus, individuals
also
have to check the
amount
of
sugar
used in the preparation of any food while purchasing it.
Thus
, if the governments as well as individuals keep on limiting the
amount
of
sugar
they eat,
then
our new generation will surely be more active and healthy. (68)
Hence
, in my opinion, it is a team work of both government and individuals which is necessary to limit the
amount
of
sugar
that people eat on
daily basis
Suggestion
a daily basis
. (29)
Submitted by mamir.amirshahzad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: